Over the past few years, in particular since the onslaught of the Covid Pandemic, more people as re-assessing their purpose in life and asking, why am I here, what is my purpose? Before the pandemic, I thought I had if all figured out. I thought I was the universe, and the world revolved around me. I thought all of the physical, mental, financial gains I had made were because of me. I was quickly course corrected when I got laid off for the first time in my life a few years ago. I quickly discovered that the gifts had nothing to do with me being special, as I was transported to a mere mortal of the earth. Nothing special at all.

I can’t put an exact day on when it happened ( my first visit with the Holy Spirit ) but I can tell you how it happened. Shortly after getting laid off, I could not sleep. I tossed and turned and woke up all night long, usually in a cold sweat, worrying about my future. Could I ever get a job like my last one? Would I make enough money? This went on for months. I never experienced anything like this. Totally helpless. Then one night I was listening to a meditation video and the speaker was talking about the heart. He said that the key to relaxation and rest started with the heart. He said to place my hand over my heart, ( I was semi asleep when I did this) which I did. When I placed my hand over my heart, I could feel my hole chest cavity warming up, I didn’t move my hand as the heat stayed and I felt a great relief and relaxation. Since that night, I have not had a problem sleeping again. That was the night the Holy Spirit came into heart. I didn’t know it at the time, but that was the night.

The first thing the Holy Spirit had me do was read the Bible front to back. Again, at that time, I wasn’t sure why I was compelled to read the Bible, but I know now it was the Holy Spirit directing me.

The question that keeps recurring in my mind, why am I here. What is my purpose? What is God’s purpose for me? It is clear, I have a purpose. I have been moved closer to the answer by 1 Corinthians 12:7-11

12:7 But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to every man to profit withal.

12:8 For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom, to another the word of knowledge by the same spirit;

12:9 To another faith by the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same spirit; 12:10 to another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; to another divers kinds tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues: 12:11 But all these worketh that one and the selfsame spirit, dividing to every man severally as he will.

To answer why I am here, I need to understand what gift I have been given to use. Is it the word of wisdom, the word of knowledge, faith, healing, working of miracles, prophecy, discerning of spirits, divers kinds of tongues; interpretation of tongues?

For me my answer is faith. I have come to realize it was never about me, but a very patient and forgiving God. Almost laughably patient, but I finally got to where I needed to be. I don’t stress about tomorrow, I am only grateful and thankful for today and taking in the beauty of each day and share with my loved ones.

I am thankful for this strange time on our planet as it brought me to face my realities and fears, and brought me to God the Almighty creator, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and of course the Holy Spirit.

My journey has just started, but my goals for this year have nothing to do with financial, personal goals of earthly relevance. ( I still need to work to create an income ) My goals have everything to do with getting closer to Jesus Christ each and every day, praying for help and forgiveness often, and traversing this world on faith.

So what is my purpose? Why am I on this earth? To be an example of one of God’s children? To teach others how to have faith and belief in God? To help others less fortunate? I can’t wait for tomorrow to find out.

God bless everyone.